I've heard many people say that they can't stand being single. During high school I watched a few of my female friends start out single and not really caring for a relationship to completely desperate for anyone (sometimes even another girl). Why is it that so many people seem to find the single life almost unbearable? Aren't relationships supposed to be with someone who truly makes you happy? How often do you find a person that REALLY makes you smile? Not magically within a week after breaking up with your last boyfriend (every boyfriend).
My friend's relationship with boys seemed to become almost like an addiction. It started out every once in a while and grew into having a new boyfriend within days of breaking up with an old one. Somewhat like cigarettes, once she breathed in her first breath of relationship she slowly progressed until it seemed like she could only breathe when in a relationship and had to hold her breath when single. After a few times of being unexpectedly dumped and left flailing for air, she began to start searching for another boyfriend before even breaking up with her current one. She was of course a smart girl and knew that having a new boyfriend within 2 days was "whorish" but that didn't stop her. Knowing this seemed to only make her more secretive and insecure, like how a person hides their shameful addiction.
Maybe this explains why some people marry and divorce the same person several times in a relatively short period of time. Maybe they're addicted to the idea of a permanent fix to their relationship addiction, and even though they can't stand each other, they can't hold their breath long enough to find another.
(P.S. Is it the sex?)
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I wrote something earlier in the month. I hope you don't mind me cutting and pasting here:
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Are people who are Crazy in Love really crazy?
In many cases, the behavior of a crazy person is not too far off from the behavior of a person suffering from love. In many cases, in fact, what may be seen as an act of love by one person may be seen as an act of complete lunacy by another. In both insanity and in love, decisions are made and actions are performed in an Altered State of Consciousness.
What is it about love that causes us to become crazy and irrational?
Some of us truly believe that True Love is an experience of the soul -- transcending the body, mind, and even the heart. Others believe that what the first group believes to be 'True Love' is nothing more than a series of chemical reactions that take place as biologically and evolutionarily programmed behaviors and reactions.
At the most basic level, the latter school believes that love is driven by the basic need to procreate the species. At a slightly higher level, love is driven by a human need to satisfy the consciousness' desire to be able to identify itself and have social associations with fellow humans -- that the love that we feel for each other is little more than mutual emotional masturbation that produces good feelings (endorphins). The attachments and addictions we have for the love we feel are nothing more than chemical addictions, similar to drug addictions.
When a drug addict is high, they are in an Altered State of Consciousness and will do things that they would not normally do. When a person is in Love, a person is also experiencing a high (and thus, are also in an Altered State of Consciousness), and will also do things that they would not normally do (crazy). When a drug addict is at risk of losing their drug, they will react irrationally and illogically. When a lover is at risk of losing their love, they will also react irrationally and illogically (crazy).
When a drug addict loses their drug, they suffer withdrawal. When a lover loses a love, they also suffer withdrawal.
When a person does something nice for their lover, they are merely increasing their chance for a reward of increased love from their lover. And as we know, love feelings = endorphin rush. A definite bio-chemical relationship exists between love and craziness.
But are we really that simple?
Years ago, I stayed with Elise -- even after she had told me that she'd been cheating on me with my friend Jason, and was pregnant with his child. I forgave her, and told her that I would stay beside her and see her through her troubles. I continued giving the same love to her that I always did, for an entire month, until she became so abusive and violent that I could no longer handle being with her anymore.
Was this crazy? Or was this love?